Under A Dim Kitchen Light
by mamamu-yan
Summary: Jonathan and his mother sit down to have a conversation. Implied Sockathan, very light homophobia.


because i LOVE depressing people :'^)))

Titles: Under The Dim Kitchen Light

Words:

Pairings: Implied Sockathan

Genre: Angst, family relationships

Rating: K+ probabably idk there's no cursing or sex but lots and lots of feels

Warnings: just a smidge of homophobia involved...not believing in bisexuality and making it seem like it's a choice. not TOOOO harmful but...don't take it the wrong way.

try to enjoy :'D

She was done cleaning and putting the dishes away in their respected cupboards and was now getting around to dealing with unpaid bills she had been purposely putting aside for quite some time, at the center island of their kitchen under a dim ceiling spotlight that filtered on her. Just as she was muttering nonsense under he breath, something about the bills, her son made his subtle approach in the room, wearing nothing but his old, worn out white shirt and a pair of boxer shorts with a little rip in the seams. Her poor boy left his half eaten dinner at the table and must have fallen asleep. Typical...always dozing off so late in the evening so he can toss and turn for the rest of the night.

"Hey sleepyhead." she greeted before she started to rummage through one of the nearby drawers. "You feelin' alright? You already ate your dinner and I'm guessin' from your lovely hair that you had a beautiful nap."

She looked up with a teasing grin, but it slowly melted away when she noticed her son still bore a very grim, indifferent frown on his face. "Sweetie?"

"Hm, I'm fine." Jonathan mumbled and shuffled his bare feet across the tile floor. Pulling up one of the stool on the left side of his mother, he glanced at the paperwork she was organizing, bored. "What's this?"

Blowing a stray piece of curly hair out of her face, Jon's mother 'tsk'd' and shook her head. "Oh, just some crummy paperwork...bills, bills, bills."

He nodded slowly while constantly gripping and tugging and the rim of his t-shirt from under the table. "Is it, um...can I talk to you about something? If you're, y'know, not busy."

His mother paused, and glanced up with a quirked eyebrow. Then, she looked back down at her work. "Sure, kiddo. What's on your mind?"

Even with the friendly invitation, her son didn't speak for a good minute or so. She caught a glimpse at him looking at the oven clock that read 7:32 and looked back down at the table. He then asked a question, with a slight quiver in his voice, that made her heart ache.

"Mom, will you love me no matter what?"

Stopping her work all together, she looked down at her child with sympathetic eyes, right into his droopy, tired ones.

"Of course, Jonathan. I will always love you unconditionally, no matter what." She said that, looking deep into his eyes, and even took his clammy hand into her own and squeezed it with sincerity. That little act of affection caused a tiny tug at the corner of Jon's lips, but it didn't last. At least until he spoke up again and glanced away.

"You would...still love me even if I...I-I um..."

He spoke so softly, as if speaking any lower would make the question less embarrassing, or threatening, but she leaned in close, attentive.

"Even if I...sorta...think I have feelings for someone other than a girl?"

Her eyes widen a bit as she unconsciously sat back. "O-oh?"

Jon exhaled a breath he didn't realize he was holding, only to take a shaky intake again, avoiding his mother's gaze.

His mother's thoughts were suddenly jumbled, a series of mixed emotions ran through her body but her tight hold on her son's hand remained. She just knew she had to respond with something, fast.

"Ahh...how long have you been thinking...or feeling this?"

He shifted. "A few weeks."

"Have you ever had these thoughts before? Like, have there been more crushes...in the past, or is the first one?"

"First one." He replied immediately, but took a slight pause. "I swear, this is the first time...I've felt like this towards...towards a guy. I've liked only girls in the past. This is the first one..."

The two sat in silence as his mother absorbed the information and Jon was frantically thinking of ways to break the ice. But he didn't budge. His mother held her free hand up to her mouth, her other still held her son's trembling hand as she thought long and hard.

"Jonathan?"

He didn't respond with a noise, but he finally made eye contact with her.

And then she smiled.

"I still love you with all my heart."

And then it was his turn to smile.

"Now," she took a breath and readjusted herself in her sleep, looking down at the table. "Is this a boy from your school? Is he in any of your classes?"

Jon's opened his mouth but it took a couple seconds before anything came out. "Uh, no...he doesn't. He's around my age, but he's not in my school, no."

She frowned. If it's not someone from school, then how else did he meet this boy? Her Jonathan was the only teenager on the block, and as far as she knew, he rarely went into neighboring towns or is a part of any out of school clubs...

"Okay," she nodded, "How do you...feel...when you think about this boy? What goes on in your mind, what do you want to do?"

As expected, her son fidgeted in his seat and inwardly groaned. "I dunno...I-I'm not sure what I want to do exactly...I know I get warm and stuff. My chest feels tight...actually every part of me gets warm. At first it all annoyed me, I tried ignoring it but it was...they were getting more stronger and consistent."

She couldn't suppress the smile that broke out on her face as she watched her baby boy shyly telling about his little boy crush. "Aww, that's so sweet...I'm sure he's a very nice boy."

He didn't say much about that.

"But," She began, her tone sounding uneasy, "this...will be, undoubtedly, a big change for your life if you do think you truly like this boy, and believe you're...not completely str-"

"-But I've liked girls before." Jon cut her off, looking stern. "This is the first."

His mother looked him in the eye seriously. "Jonathan, you can't be both. You can't...like both genders."

Jon's face screwed into a frown as he looked back down at his lap.

"Now you have a lot of thinking to do...sort out your feelings, and thoughts. Decide how you want to label yourself, but remember even though I still see you as the same Jonathan, many people in the world won't, and you will be faced with problems."

This left Jon silent, still looking down at his lap until his mother took his face in between her hands and lifted up his tired face to look back at hers.

"I don't want any body in this world to hurt my Jonathan..."

Jon stared back up at his mother, tears threatening to spill.

"I know..."

And with a tender kiss to his forehead, his mother pulled away and smiled, until she looked back down at her paperwork and sighed. "Guess this will wait another night. It's getting late, we should both be heading to bed."

"Actually..." Jon glanced at the clock, then at the fridge. "I'm gonna get something to eat, then I'll go to bed. I'll clean and turn everything off when I'm done. Promise."

Smiling and nodding, his mother slid off her stool, rustling her hand through her son's hair. "Alright, kiddo. See you in the morning."

She left and went upstairs, leaving her son sitting alone, under the dim glow of the kitchen spotlight. He didn't get up to get food, however. He didn't get up at all. Instead, he buried his face into his arms and remained there, using all his might not to cry.

**AHAHAHAHA WHAT WAS THAT AHAHAHAhahahahaahaa/aa.a...**


End file.
